Tiada khabar berita atau apa-apa cerita dan juga coretan yang dapat aku coretkan. Ke’bz’ dan juga kekangan masa yang tak dapat nak di elakkan. Even i don’t have for my own time to wash my cloth, cleaning up my thing. Sometimes, i feel like so lucky i don’t have a boyfriend so that i don’t need to argue with him about my “workaholic” sense. Hahahaha... but, deep inside my heart i do felt so empty bcuz no one can i be depend on when i have a problem, need someone to talk with. Yes, i do have a friend but the feeling is not a same..ok, lets back to the culture. Talk about my biziness.
Lately, boleh di katakan ari2 aku kne marah dgn bos2.. sgt3 teruk jer aku rase. Ari2 kott kne marah.. bak kate org pun macam da kebal jer telinga ak.. hahhaaha.. the truth is, ak tgah lack of motivation rite now. Very2 lack of it. In everything i do, i don’t have the motivation. I’m so sorry boss. I do work out for my best and do it as best as i can. But.....i failed.
Totally failed. !!!!!!
Aku pun tak tahu macam mana nak buat lagi. Hari2 kena marah, hari2 keje aku kne buat balik, kne ada yg back up kan sbb aku tak leh handle. Even keje yg senang pun, mesti aku ada salah buat. Aduhh.... apa yg perlu aku lakukan?? Aku pun tak tahu sebenarnya. Aku rase...aku rindukan kawan2 aku, aku rindukan waktu belajar yg penuh dengan keceriaan, happy2 tanpa perlu pkir masalah2 yg sgt melecehkan nie. Aduuhh... tak patot btolkan? Aku sepatutnya dah tggalkan minded student tu jauh2 since aku pun dah habis blaja dan juga dah nak grade pun. Tp, ntah knape susah sgt aku nk tggalkan memori dan minded tu..
To the company yg banyak bg peluang kat aku selama ni, i'm so sorry... i don’t have any intention to make loss to the company. Its really not my intention. The reason why i want to stay at the company also is want to repay for all the losses i made to the company, but it seems like i keep making the loss.. i’m so sorry.. rite now i just think of about to get resign as i could not deliver successfully what the company mission and vision and also because of my guilty for keep the company having a loss and damage the company images. I guess this is the rite time for me to get off from the company. The company also must be don’t want to keep someone who cant work and kkep doing mistakes. I admit, i not so smart and not creative and also not so active, applicable for all the task that had been given to me. I failed in every project that company give to me. There’s many more suitable and applicable candidates that can do better and more active than me. I’m so sorry..
But now.. D.I.L.E.M.A melanda dri. Apa yg aku buat skarang nie serba tak kne. Sbb nye aku da tak ada semangat nak keje dah. Tp, kalau aku tak keje dengan betol2, aku akan slalu buat silap jer.. ble aku slalu buat silap jer, aku akan kne mrah setiap masa. Bile aku kne mrah setiap mase, aku akan rase bertambah down. Ble aku trase bertambah down, aku hlang self confidence. Ble aku dah tak ade self confidence, aku jadi mcam org tak guna.. that’s how it goes. Like a cycle, keep spinning aroud me... and thats the real life happen to me...:(
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